Five steps to living your truth

Posted on May 17, 2012 by hermeswitch

Emotional vampires. Narcissists who blame others. Projectors. Hiders from conflict. Those who triangulate their own situations to dilute responsibility. Drama Queens. Ergh! Out vile spot! Get. Away.

Are you one, all or none?

Most of us may have dipped in and out of theses types throughout our lives. I certainly have. What I find now is that if I can take full responsibility for myself, my actions and intentions, then I can sit more comfortably in the world. What does that mean? It means being more authentic. It means shedding the shit and getting real. How? Continue reading →

The New Leaving Game

Posted on May 15, 2012 by hermeswitch

Once it had been that infidelity had been the driving force behind marriage breakups. Those ones where the man found the younger, more attractive version. ’Upgrading the model’, as they used to joke. Women, locked into marriages, usually no money of their own, left feeling deserted and unloved. And sure, it happens even today. A friend of mine’s husband arrived home one night to tell her he had met the most incredible woman and that she was carrying too much weight. Game over then and there really.

I’m not saying any of this lightly. My step-father of 25 years ran off with a ‘woman of the night’, who got pregnant apparently by accident (yes, I thought that too), feigned a nervous breakdown, citing that he needed space, and we found him shacked up in the Western suburbs with a baby and a new life. Continue reading →

Open up and say “Ah!”

Posted on April 17, 2012 by hermeswitch

Have you gotten more risk adverse as you’ve gotten older? Spontaneity gone to the dogs? Do you tend to think ‘no’ more times than you think ‘yes’, and for no particular reason.

I tend to undertake public experiments into how dried up and shrivelled we are as a group of people. I still live in a fantasy realm where I think anything is possible and that is the place where most of my inspiration, motivation, humour and wonder comes from. But increasingly, and yes, maybe it’s because of my age, and the fact that I now am a mother, I think, “No, can’t do that.” Continue reading →

Make an adventure. Make a new love

Posted on April 15, 2012 by hermeswitch

Something beautiful to remind you life is not governed by the name of the week.

My Valentine by Paul McCartney

Life in the fast lane

Posted on April 13, 2012 by hermeswitch

Quitting twitter? Avoiding your inbox? Taking a sickie from work just to get a moment’s peace?

You’re not alone.

Our consumption of information, from our obsession with social media to the 24 hour news cycle, often can leave us overwhelmed and swallowed up. This fast paced life is milking out our adrelinne at a rate of knots. Our adrenals are working overtime and most of us aren’t taking the time to recover. No wonder we feel stressed and edgy. Continue reading →

Breaking up with Dolce and Gabbana

Posted on April 12, 2012 by hermeswitch

My ex-boyfriend could smell my perfume (at the time is was ‘The One’ by Dolce and Gabbana) if I was on the same street and come in search of me. He could. For him, the perfume I wore was part of how he felt about me and the scent was always with us. The lingering reminder was there throughout our days and into our nights.

I wear perfume everyday. If I forget to put it on I feel naked. I’ve been known to go into a department store just to get some on and feel normal again. I love it on me and I love it on others. I love to sniff a good fragrance on a man; bury my nose into neck and nuzzle in. I’ve even asked one of my gay mates, who wears a Chanel, to roll all over my bed before I went to sleep. True. I’m tragic. Scent transports me. Continue reading →

I’ll have that

Posted on April 11, 2012 by hermeswitch

Where did my fun go? I’m back from nearly 2 1/2 weeks of holidaying in Fiji. It’s the place for me where I’m totally in the moment, no stress and lots of sunshine to make me smile.

I’ve come home to a huge work project that will take me through the next couple of months. I told myself I just need to think of it as a thing I do; just wander through it, step by step. I’m doing that. I’ve also done 5 loads of washing, am back in the sink doing dishes and picking up stuff the kids leave in their trail.

But I’m mindful.

I’m mindful that I need to shove aside the hum drum of life and make room for the things I really like doing. Making room for the soul keeps us on an even keel. It makes us more attractive, puts a kick in our step and presents us at our best.

Don’t look at your day as a series of lists, of things to do pressed by duty or obligation. Shift back the responsibilities and take what you need to fuel the soul.

What will you be having?

Finding what you need

Posted on April 10, 2012 by hermeswitch

I get a lot of people asking my advice on what direction I think their life should take, which I find extraordinary. Firstly, how would I be able to properly advise them on something so personal, secondly, if you look deep enough, you’ll find all the answers are already with you.

I’m constantly twisting and turning in my existence; figuring out why this is this, and that is that. Most of all, I know that my answers come from remaining still and removing all the worries, all the impatience and the fear.

I pick through ideas in books of all kinds and take thoughts, tips and meditations which resonate with me. For me, my best guiding light has been my instincts and they have never failed me, although often I have failed them.

What works best for you? What takes you to your core? Settles your mind and spirit?

Please share your thoughts.

Solitude, Creativity and Mother Guilt

Posted on March 15, 2012 by hermeswitch

You’re going to have to bear with me while I explain a few things. My thoughts are squashed banana mixed in with champagne bubbles and a cozy, wool blanket. What I’ve been thinking about at the moment hasn’t been something I can easily turn into words. It’s been floating around in my thoughts; wandering with me late at night like an itch you can’t reach.

I’m in the ‘letting go’ conundrum. And the bit I have to be really good at is the part I am really crap at doing. I have to learn to do a few other things as well, apparently, in order for the ‘letting go’ to happen. You’ll see how badly I’m going over the next few paragraphs.

Firstly, I have my children about 65% of the time. It dawned on me the other day that really, for the past 4 years, I have only spent just over half of their lives with them. It made me sad. So sad. (This is threatening to become longwinded and boring, I fear).

So, moving along, it means that as a single, self-employed person, I have all of this spare time on my hands. It means that I can sleep in, watch bad television, go out dancing, shop at my pace, have adult dinners and use the time for myself. Dotted in between all of this spare time I have also dated, and some of them have been really lovely men. Some others have been quite disgusting. Continue reading →

One is a beautiful number

Posted on February 15, 2012 by libby

Ever heard a friend make a pact with another friend about marrying if they both hit thirty and are single? It’s the main thread of the Julia Robert’s film, “My Best Friend’s Wedding” and something you hear twenty and thirty something women laugh about in jest as they find it increasingly difficult to fulfil the ’marriage by’ requirement.

But the journey to coupledom seems to fall into two camps; those we meet and fall in love early in life, and those who struggle through many failed matches to either find a suitable partner or not. Continue reading →